Scully
(Memento Mori)
For the first time I feel time like a
heartbeat, the seconds pumping
in my breast like a reckoning; the
numinous mysteries that once
seemed so distant and unreal
threatening clarity in the presence
of a truth entertained not in youth
but only in its passage. I feel
these words as if their meaning 
were weight being lifted from me,
knowing that you will read them
and share my burden as I have 
come to trust no other. That you
should know my heart, look into it,
finding there the memory and 
experience that belong to you, 
that are you, is a confort to me
now as I feel the tethers loose and
the prospects darken for the
continuance of a journey that 
began not so long ago, and which
began again with a faith shaken
and strengthen by your
convictions. If not for which I
might never have been so strong
now as I cross to face you and 
look at you incomplete, hoping
that you will forgive me for not
making the rest of the journey with you.

(The Field Where I Died)
No one knows who they have been
or who they will be. No one. Though
I know more than most. In each life
am I destined to find this field?
To understand its secrets? Perhaps.

Melissa is dead, by her own hand. The
winds of fate changing everyone and
everything just as I am about to
understand. Everything changes.

As I walk through this field I am
certain that it holds secrets still,
even from me. Soulmates? Who can say?
I had thought that Melissa might be mine
but now I am not so sure. I felt a
connection to her but I do not think
she was the 'one'.

It is amazing to think that Scully and I 
have shared other lives. Have traveled
other roads. It makes sense really.
Who am I without Scully?

She is waiting from me, at the front of the house.
There are memories here for her too. Memories
she cannot recall as I can. Mine only
through regression. She had told me
to take my time, that she would wait for me.
She seems to do a lot of that. Waiting for me.

Destiny is waiting for me too. I can feel
it on the wind, swirling around me, waiting
for me to choose my path. I cannot, not yet.

I walk back towards the house, feeling more
confused then when I arrived. Scully turns
when I step onto the lawn. She seems not
to know how unconsious a movement she
has made. She could not have heard me
coming, so how did she know? She asks
no questions, just comes up to me and
hugs me. I hug her back and seem to find
myself again, in her.

I look back towards the field. A thousand tears
won't wash those memories from me. A
thosand words will never explain what
has happened to me here. Only one
person can truly understand 
and she all ready knows.